Mindfulness - The Art of; " What to Say When the Stakes are High"

I've been "studying and practising" the techniques and lessons in the book "Crucial Conversations", tools for talking when the stakes are high, by Patterson, Grenny, McMillan and Switzler.

Click above Title or here to buy the book:

This book has helped me become a better communicator, and negotiator, both in Social and Business conversations.

I recently practised a few of the techniques in the book during a meeting with a group of 4 homeowners at one of their homes, the meeting started off by them stating they weren't interested in selling to us and that they wanted to list their properties instead of selling direct.

There I was with my partner and realtor sitting in front of a group of 4 homeowners with arms crossed and one guy speaking for the groups in a very defiant tone, his line was, "Before you arrived we came to the conclusion that we're going to list and are not interested in selling direct to you".

Bamm, brick wall, so I thanked him for sharing the insight and instead of engaging in his intended dialogue knew i needed to "Create Safety", before any one of them would enter into dialogue around selling direct to us.

I started with asking about "Their Personal Stories" getting them talking about their homes, how long they lived there, ancestry, their community, kids, their dog, just things they would be "comfortable" talking about.

Once I "Created Safety" and established free flowing candour i circled back to inquiring about the "Back Story" of why they changed position right before the meeting?

After about 15 minutes of asking each couple or individual about their life and the back story I "asked" if it's would be ok if we talked about what a direct to us sale would look like compared to listing?

They all agreed to hear us out, and after another 20 minutes or so of reviewing what would be mutually agreeable terms they asked to if they could send us offers!

Complete about face, we left the meeting with the opportunity to present offers to all 4 sellers before they listed with and agent.

The 2 techniques I used in the book are referred to as; "Creating Safety", and understanding the "Back Story".

Once people feel "Safe" the dialogue can flow, and once we know the "Back Story", we know what needs to be resolved to pave the path to agreement.

I once heard a quote about Bill Clinton, the person stated about talking to Bill, "I felt like I was the only person in the room".

Enjoy, and happy conversing and negotiating, Rick Genovese :-)