9 Bad Habits That Can Lead to Unhappiness
  
Almost every action we take in life is aimed at achieving or maintaining happiness that elusive state where we feel contentment, satisfaction, and even bliss.
Some habits lead to unhappiness more than others do. These traps are easily avoided once you’re aware of them. Here are nine of them so you can be more conscious next time you are defaulting into them.
1. Holding your feelings in.
One of the great misconceptions concerning emotional intelligence (EQ) is that it is about repressing our feelings and holding them in. While it is true there are feelings that high EQ individuals do not allow to erupt on impulse, that does not mean those feelings are not expressed. Emotional intelligence means honoring your feelings and allowing yourself to experience the catharsis that comes from embracing them for what they are. Only then can you express them in a manner that helps rather than hinders your ability to reach your goals.
2. Numbing yourself with technology
Everyone deserves the opportunity to binge watch a TV show now and then or to switch on your Kindle and get lost in a book. The real question is how much time you spend plugged in (to video games, the TV, the tablet, the computer, the phone, etc.) and whether it makes you feel good or simply makes you numb. When your escape becomes a constant source of distraction, it is a sure sign you have fallen into the trap of too much of a good thing.
3. Spending too much time and effort acquiring "things".
People living in extreme poverty experience a significant increase in happiness when their financial circumstances improve. There’s an ocean of research that shows that material things don’t make you happy. When you make a habit of chasing things, you are likely to become unhappy because, beyond the disappointment you experience once you get them, you discover that you’ve gained them at the expense of the real things that can make you happy, such as friends, family and hobbies.
4. Waiting for the future.
Telling yourself, “I’ll be happy when …” is one of the easiest unhappy habits to fall into. How you end the statement doesn’t really matter (it might be a promotion, more pay or a new relationship) because it puts too much emphasis on circumstances, and improved circumstances don’t lead to happiness. Don’t spend your time waiting for something that’s proven to have no effect on your mood. Instead, focus on being happy right now, in the present moment, because there’s no guarantee of the future.
5. Fighting change.
Change is an inevitable part of life, and those who fight it do so because they are struggling to remain in control. The problem with this approach is that fighting change actually limits your control over the situation by putting up a barrier between yourself and the actions you need to take to improve your situation.
6. Pessimism.
Nothing fuels unhappiness quite like pessimism. The problem with a pessimistic attitude, beyond it being hard on your mood, is that it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy: If you expect bad things, you’re more likely to get bad things. Pessimistic thoughts are hard to shake off until you recognize how illogical they are. Force yourself to look at the facts, and you’ll see that things are not nearly as bad as they seem.
7. Trying to keep up with the Joneses,
Jealousy and envy are incompatible with happiness, so if you’re constantly comparing yourself with others, it’s time to stop. In one study, most subjects said that they’d be OK with making less money, but only if everybody else did, too. Be wary of this kind of thinking, as it won’t make you happy and, more often than not, has the opposite effect.
8. Not improving.
Because unhappy people are pessimists and feel a lack of control over their lives, they tend to sit back and wait for life to happen to them. Instead of setting goals, learning and improving themselves, they just keep plodding along, and then they wonder why things never change. Don’t let this be you.
9. Staying home.
When you feel unhappy, it’s tempting to avoid other people. This is a huge mistake, as socializing, even when you don’t enjoy it, is great for your mood. We all have those days when we just want to pull the covers over our heads and refuse to talk to anybody, but understand that the moment this becomes a tendency, it destroys your mood. Recognize when unhappiness is making you antisocial, force yourself to get out there and mingle, and you’ll notice the difference right away.
Changing your habits in the name of greater happiness is one of the best things that you can do for yourself. But it’s also important for another reason—taking control of your happiness makes everyone around you happier, too.
Is Your Mortgage Up For Renewal In 2019?
If your mortgage, or someone you know, is up for renewal in 2019, make sure to explore all of your options.
Your current mortgage lender does not always automatically offer you the 'best' rate because they know that statistically, most people (upwards of 70%) will simply sign whatever offer they present to you as your mortgage maturity date approaches. There may be better options and strategy's out there for you.
7 Mental Hacks to Be More Confident in Yourself
Confidence is the cornerstone of leadership. If you don’t believe in yourself, how can others believe in you? Here are seven ways to boost your confidence—mental hacks you can use to be more confident in yourself.
1. Push through self-limiting beliefs.
Find your limits by exposing yourself to different situations and pushing through the uncomfortable. Once you have confidence in yourself, you’ll be amazed what you can accomplish.
2. Never confuse memory with facts.
Revisit the facts of a memory loaded with self-limiting beliefs and try to gain a more accurate perspective on the event. Talk with others that might have a different perspective.
3. Talk to yourself.
Be positive, because the way you talk to yourself influences your neurobiological response to it. When you say, I know what to do here or see things as a challenge rather than a problem, you’ve turned your response into a positive one.
4. Think positive to overcome your negativity bias.
* Come up with five positive thoughts to counter every one negative thought.
* Let every positive thought sit for 20 seconds before moving to the next positive thought.
* Acknowledge both good and bad emotions.
* Do not try to suppress negative ones.
* Label the emotions for what they truly are and move on. Do not enter into inner dialogue about the negative emotion because then it becomes more powerful.
5. Raise your curiosity levels.
Ask questions and be curious because:
* It makes your mind active instead of passive.
* It encourages you to be more observant of new ideas.
* It opens up new worlds and possibilities.
* It creates an adventurous response that leads you in a new direction.
6. Overcome self-doubt.
No one but you is stopping you from achieving what you want to accomplish. It’s time to identify the areas in which you doubt yourself and remove those barriers.
7. Face your fears.
Think about your worst fear. Spend time with it. Now make your fear worse by getting closer to it. Imagine the worst that could happen. Now focus on your breathing. Feel your body relax. See, you didn’t die, did you? You’re on your way to conquering your fear.
If you don’t believe in yourself, how do you expect anybody else to? Start today.
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