Recently I was shocked to hear the news of my coworker being murdered in front of his home about 2 weeks ago!
At City of Vancouver we had to evacuate our building the day it happened and RCMP officers showed up with their ammunition ready! Needless to say, this was a traumatizing experience.
The next day I found out who was shot and killed, Hanif Jessa. I had worked in close quarters with him as I worked night shift while going through university as security and he worked as the supervisor for the Sanitation department.
My memories of him was that he always worked Christmas and we would discuss differences in cultures and religious beliefs. He was part of the small Ismaili community in Vancouver. Everyone I knew from this community knows him and his family well.
I went to the funeral service and took some time off work immediately to grieve this horrific death. I have never been this overwhelmed by someone's death in my life.
(The reason I chose this picture was to show how fucked up this situation really was..such pointless death on purpose. Murder can never look pretty.)
My second experience with news of death this month was an elementary school acquaintance who was one year younger than me. I had played with this girl a few times in elementary school.
Her and her husband died when taking recreational drugs laced with fentanyl. It turned out to be a lethal substance. They left a 2 year old son and were in no way 'drug addicts'.
Oddly enough these deaths made me think of all the people I have known who have done recreational drugs in their past for the fun of it.
Instead of saying "Just don't do it, its not worth it". I am just going to enable you with tools that will prevent your death when doing recreational drugs!
For the minimal investment of $3-5 dollars, you can test your drugs with an easy-to-use drug testing kit from the comfort of your own home (Walmart even sells these)! And if there are things like Poison in them...you will be warned.
It also enables you to complain about the quality of your goods to your local business owner.
So I have gone through my grieving processes with these two deaths that have touched my life.
Now, I must look on to the next good thing in my life...Family Reunion!
My whole family will be showing up on a farm in Alberta and we are going to have a Hoe Down!
200+ of my closest relatives are showing up on a farm with a chicken coop and a barn and going to dance and drink up a storm.
I validate this as part of my healing processes as well.
YES YOU CAN HAVE FUN AND GET OUT AND DANCE as part of your healing processes too!!! It's so important to connect with those close to you not on the pretense of someone's death but on the re-focus of celebration and fun!
Trust me, when you can relax and enjoy life again, it allows you to let go of the tension in your body that is built up over time. NOW THIS IS REALLY LETTING GO! YEE- HAW!
My mother always says 'It's just as easy to be nasty to people as it is to be nice to people'. Living in a way that creates positive moments with the people you meet and encounter can save lives and save yours.
Taking the extra moment of time to converse on something positive going on in your life helps others see the positive in their life. This can be simple like eating a burger at a fast food restaurant.
Telling someone that you had a positive experience and could afford to enjoy that moment is something that brings people back to what's going good in their life.
It also brings recommendations to others so they too can experience a joyful moment.
Now death can bring a huge toll on people's health and the way they process the news.
I have taken many courses for my vision that revolve around grieving loss.
Taking care of your needs and respecting your processing time to let things sink in is key to all of this.
Things like crying a bunch, communicating stories of the people you lost, and eventually get back to the reality of not having this person in your day-to-day life are examples of what you need to accomplish when processing. Luckily, time is on your side; take as long as you need to.
Attached is a pdf that gets you back to the basics and helps you to keep from the spiral of uncontrollable depression.
This is valid for those who suffer from suicidal tendencies too. Please pass on to those you know can benefit from the knowledge contained here.
The key to grieving those near and dear to your heart is to chunk it. Only go through as much as you can chew. One biteful at a time.
The good news is: there is support all around you!
Ask your angels to support you during this time. We all have a bunch of angels around us who want to help.
Intentionally asking for the help for grieving purposes: eg. the healing angels, the ones that can help you get up in the morning, the alarm setters, the creative food makers, Hell there are even real estate angels that can hook you up with the perfect place to live if you are looking.
Unemployed angels are everywhere and can totally help when you are alone in this world going through your suffering or cannot find the answers to what you need at this moment.
Giving tasks to the angels is one way to start focusing on the miracles of your everyday life :)
Just realize that you are not alone whether you see them or not. You have so much support around you, it is ridiculous!
